Girls know your Nikah Nama, know your Rights.

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When a girl is getting married, there are a lot of things going on her mind like, dress, makeup, jewelry, photographer, venue, and many other things but these things don’t include knowing the Nikkah Nama, because in our society Nikkah Nama is something Molavi fills out and it is not a big of a deal. Girls are just to be asked Kabool hai? (Do you accept) and that is all a girl should know about Nikkah Nama.

Basically, Nikkah Nama is a social contract a girl is asked to sign and also before groom because at the end of the Nikkah Nama there is plenty of blank space for the girl to add conditions of her choice and “to be groom” has to follow those, which can include your pocket money, divorce conditions, housework, your own job details, living conditions, and any other commitments.

Islam is easy to women but these so called Mullahs made it hard for women just for their own benefits.

Other clauses included in Nikah Nama:

1: The money you make from your job is yours, your husband can not take it from you. The spending of your money should be according to your own will.

2: Husband is bound to pay you pocket money for personal expenses. Other than the home budget.

3: When you breastfeed your child you can ask for money for that as well. It is your right and you don’t deny that.

4: Consent to intimacy and the level of intimacy is also your right.

5: You are under no obligation to give any of your heritage to your husband and neither can he force you to give him.

6: In Islam, the man is to pay for the wedding out of his own pocket.

7: There is no concept of dahej (dowry) Nikkah Nama is the a contract you make with your to be husband for your rights. These rights are given you by Allah and let no one take it away from you.

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What you must carry in your purse. (for women)

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Safety pins

An opsss moment can happen anywhere, either with your clothes, shoes and even with the bag you are carrying. Safety pins are must have in your bag.

Thread and needle

If safety pin is no help, there should always be the backup plan.  You can be a cobbler, tailor, and even thread-er (to thread the extra hair on face) to help the situation.

Healthy snack

A person like me who is always hungry and can’t bear the hunger and gets grumpy without food. Yes, then you need to carry healthy snacks in your purse.

Hand Sanitizer

We all like to be healthy and active, that is only possible if we have hygienic habits which include eating with clean hands, therefore, hand sanitizer is a must.

Tissues 

Who doesn’t spill, make a mess around, and have a runny nose? Tissues are your best friends, help you in any kind of messy situation you put yourself into.

Nail cutter

Do you know the feeling of nail chipped? Or broken nail? Yes, you can need a nail cutter at any moment of your life. Also, nail cutter can be used as a safety tool.

Hair brush

Bad hair day? Nah, by having a hair brush in your bag can help you look decent at times.

Hair ties

The kind of region we live in has the weirdest weather you don’t know when it gets windy and make a mess out of your hair. So, spare hair ties in your bag can be the life changer.

A spare natural color lipstick

Out for grocery in casuals but saw someone and you look a total mess? Yes, my friend that’s where you will need a natural color lipstick to at least look reasonable.

Mirror

Someone is looking at you weirdly and you know there must be something on your face, that’s when the mirror comes in handy.

Band-aids

For all kinds of cuts and scare you get here and there and don’t even notice. Also, helps with the sketchy painful shoes.

 Paper spray

The most importantly carry a paper spray in your bag, you don’t know where you see a creep.

Road trip to Karachi from Islamabad.

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Recently I got the chance to explore Pakistan by road (thanks to husband).  It was through clean and broken roads, through greenery all around us, through the nature, and the barren. When he first said lets travel by road to Karachi when planning for a visit back home. At first I was nahhh you joking right? Is it even possible (well, yeah kind of stupid question but hey been living my life abroad. So can’t blame me right?). Anyway, the plan got done and my long lost dream of a road trip was about to be real. Yes, I was super excited couldn’t sleep the night before and asking so many question, googling for the tips. There was so much going on like what should we take with us? Pillow? Food? Speakers? Towel? Medicine? Crockery? We wanted to be prepared for next 2 days. Well we decided and packed the stuff and went to sleep “kinda”.

The plan was, we will leave early in the morning around 6 am and by taking breaks in-between we will reach Khanpur to attend a wedding and stay there a day and then leave from there to Karachi. My husband was going to drive the whole time because he doesn’t believe in my driving skills :D. But my only concern was that he could get tired of driving and on mentioning it to him, he replied I am use to it, no big deal.

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We left from Islamabad around 10:30ish am, yes this late. Of Course didn’t sleep night before “blame the excitement”. Started form Kashmir highway, and planned to take national highway from Pindi Bhattia. Music was on, smooth and peaceful roads of motorway along with most amazing and beautiful views of fields, hubby was driving, and we talking, laughing, and singing along the songs. It totally seemed like a romantic scene from a Bollywood movie. Dream came true.

Coming back to the trip, first stop was at Bhaira for lunch and for a bit rest after only 4 hours of drive. After freshening up, we started the journey again towards Kanpur.

The person sitting on passenger seat has double the responsibility than the driver. I had to make sure that he doesn’t fall asleep, and trust me I was the one who was more cautious than my husband. I entertained him in anyway possible, by keeping him hydrated and telling him my most kept childhood secret stories and singing out loud “in terrible terrible voice”.

Anyway, we reached the Pindi Bhatia interchange and got lost a bit. But God’s plans are better than ours. We found this really beautiful well with golden fields around it. So, it was must to take picture there and spend a moment of peace. We stopped the car, enjoyed the cold water of it while the sound of well gave the background music. After a moment of appreciation we started our journey again to find the national highway toward Khanpur.

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With little effort, we were on our way to Khanpur. We didn’t took any long breaks when driving towards Kanpur, so we could reach Khanpur as soon as possible.

After 8 hours of drive we reached Khanpur around 11ish pm but now we had to drive to this village which was about 2 hours away Kanpur but the road (steep two way traffic road) was all blocked of sugarcane trollies. We reached the village at 2am.18058203_1813585321988840_5671392151552271620_n

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Finally we get to rest.

To be continued….

Enough is Enough, Lash the Molesters and Respect Women.

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Happy women’s day but every women’s day there are so many question which comes to my mind, questions of women safety, questions of their rights, and most importantly questions of mentality of Pakistani men toward their women. Our society has always treated a woman inadequate and less of a person but the question is, has this changed? The answer is NO.  It really showed the real face of most of Pakistani men.

You can always tell about societies by observing how they treat their women. I don’t understand how one can molest or even abuse a women, when you are brought to this world by a women. What if there was no sister, no mother, and no wife, where would you be?

We need women and men both to lead our country towards betterment of Pakistan. We need to understand, how this behavior is a hurdle in our progress. It is time when we start defending and respecting our women, valuing them as our sister, our mothers, and our daughters. Most importantly treat them like any other human being but not a toy on which you can get your frustration out. It is about time we start doing something about the issue for the sake of our society and for the sake of our country’s progress, most importantly for the sake of HUMANITY. We need to educate our people to treat everyone equal, women or men we are all human being and we all have the same rights.

Home is a child’s first school, where he or she learn the basic ideas of our society including the difference between gender roles. In our household it is normal routine where sister has to do all the housework as the boys don’t do anything related to housework chores and also boys get big and special portion of food than girls, this is how we teach our kids that females are lesser than males, so they should be treated accordingly.

This is where we need to bring the change, where we need to educate our kids about gender equality. Treat kids equally tell them to do the same amount and kind of chores around the house. Also be a good example for your children by behaving respectfully and correspondingly toward your sister, mother, daughter, and wife because children learn from us. If we want healthy and progressed society than we have to make strict laws of gender equality and enforce as soon as possible. Also our women are needed to be educated about their own rights. Mostly women are unaware of their rights which makes it worst case scenario. She needs to know her rights to raise her voice against the brutality of men. We need to secure our women enough that they don’t hesitate to stand for themselves by enforcing the laws and also by educating men and women